Al's web site is http://www.improvingrelationships.net
This handy pocket-guide will help you discover the weaknesses and strengths in yourself and in others.
Many times we can see what is "wrong" behavior in others, but not in ourselves.
Improving Relationships will help you identify your own main personality type to focus on your basic talents, strengths, fears, and weaknesses.
Let's face it ... most human behavior is based on a fear of being inadequate in some way, or of not pleasing others. Whatever our behavior or reaction to all the events in our life, fear is the prime motivator. By understanding our defects and improving our strengths, we can learn to shift from a fear-based life to a love-based life.
When we enhance our personality, we will improve our relationships with others. Success, popularity, and personal fulfillment will all follow naturally.
Table of Contents
1 Getting Started: Overview
2 Psyche, Mind, Body and Soul
3 The Self-image and Attitudes
4 Ego and Super Ego
5 Problems, Solutions
6 Nine  Personality Types
The information in this book comes from studying more than thirty authors for over twenty-five years. My purpose in writing this book is to help people to get to know and understand themselves better. It's a guide for personal growth, so concentrate on its content and truth. At some point in our life we have to follow the ancient dictum: to thine own self be true.
Why were we given free choice of thought? Even people living under dictatorships or communism have free choice of thought. They just can't express their thoughts verbally because of the possible consequences. We are here to learn and be tested by events, experiences and having our buttons pushed by others to see how we react and respond - and we have free choice as to how we respond. Most of our major challenges in life involve our relationships with others. Do we follow our ego or our superego? How many of us have looked up the words "ego" and "superego" in the past week, months, or years?
The definition of "fear" is, "a feeling of alarm or disquiet caused by awareness or expectation of danger." The awareness of danger is a reality that provides us with a warning, but the imaginary expectation of danger is not real. The imagined fear of not living up to our standards or self-image causes unwanted stress and traps us into defending our ego unnecessarily. Imaginary fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. A better way to live is: "Fear knocked at the door, faith answered, and nobody was there."
In order to be truly happy we have to get rid of fear, anxiety, anger and hate. We have to control our thoughts and self-talk and follow our superego. We cannot just run on auto-pilot without being aware of our thoughts and actions. Most of us go to church once a week to fill the spiritual gas tank. What happens for the rest of the week - business as usual? We have a very natural attraction to our human side because of the ease with which our five senses provide momentary pleasure. Compare that to the pleasure you get from doing something for someone else or helping them to solve some of their problems and challenges. It's a lasting pleasure that stays with you....
I found from my personal experiences that we can learn more about ourselves and others by studying personality types and attitudes, and the motivations and actions that show up in our behavior. We can also start to listen to our self-talk. What are we saying that causes poor behavior or "stinking thinking"? Most of us have thousands of various attitudes, some that are life enhancing, crippling or hindering, and by continually repeating these to ourselves we create habitual thoughts. Habits. Things we do on auto-pilot. This is why it is such a real challenge to discover and own up to something that we may not want to let go of, particularly if it's totally self-centered and contributes to our comfort zones.
Most of my information about thought, self-talk, personality types, attitudes, inflated and deflated egos came from studying many authors over a twenty-five-year period of time, that expanded my understanding and beliefs on these subjects. I highly recommend doing more research of your own to gain additional information.
In reality, there may be more or less than nine personality types, but for this book I will use nine personality types to aid us in recognizing some of our challenges. Improving our relationships requires the elimination of ego-centric behaviors such as fear, greed, deceit, and self-centered lust....
To get the most out of this book, it is suggested that you use it as a personality reference book. Learning personality types requires some study. Our minds are infinitely and fantastically complicated, as is the personality within. If you work at it, you will succeed and reap the fruits of knowing yourself and others much better.
Blue Dolphin Publishing, 2002
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